Is it possible to save sex for marriage in our hyper-sexualized culture?


Don’t buy the lie that “everyone is doing it” or that you need to have sex to prove something to someone. 

When you have sex, you give something to someone that you can never get back. The more often you have sex with different partners, the less of yourself you have to give. 

Saving sex until marriage is a commitment that requires discipline and planning. Avoid situations or intimate settings that may compromise your commitment, such as being alone with someone you are attracted to or drinking alcohol. Plan activities with friends or in groups. Find friends who support your decision. 

Why should I save sex until marriage?

Waiting to have sex has a lot of physical and emotional benefits, including: 

  • Avoiding unplanned pregnancy. 
  • Avoiding the side effects and concerns about the safety of hormonal contraception (birth control pills, the patch, injections, IUDs, etc.). A study of 1.8 million women showed a 20% increase in breast cancer in women who take birth control pills. The risk increases the longer you are on the pill. 
  • Avoiding sexually transmitted infections like herpes, chlamydia, or HPV (human papilloma virus). More than 80% of sexually active people will contract HPV in their lifetime. HPV can cause several types of cancer, including cervical cancer.
  • Avoiding the stress that comes from worrying about unplanned pregnancy or contracting an STI.
  • Putting your energy into work and school.
  • Being able to focus on achieving your goals and planning your future.
  • Developing healthy friendships without the pressure of sex.

“For human beings, of course, sex is about much more than the body. It’s the emotional or psychological dimension of sex that makes it distinctively human. Our entire person — mind, body, and feelings — is involved. That’s why sexual intimacy has potentially powerful emotional consequences.” The Neglected Heart: The Emotional Dangers of Premature Sexual Involvement

I lost my virginity when I was 15. My boyfriend and I thought we loved each other. But once we began having sex, it completely destroyed any love we had. I felt he was no longer interested in spending time with me — he was interested in spending time with my body. 


Additional Resources

The Culture Project
The Chastity Project